In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Interview.” Interview your favorite fictional character.
Q: Welcome home, Frodo, you’ve had quite an adventure. How does it feel to be safely back in the Shire?
A: Hold on a sec while I take a hydrocodone for my finger and I’ll be right with you. Yeah, it’s great to be back but I really need a vacation. Overcoming Lord Sauron and saving the world really drained me. Sam and I are thinking of taking a long weekend somewhere warm and sunny. We’re checking with Legolos and Gimli to see when they’re free; maybe in the spring after Boromir’s and Aragorn’s weddings.
Q: You met all sorts of monsters and overcame some pretty insurmountable odds. What was the most frightening thing you encountered?
A: Well, the Orcs were ferocious and smelled something awful, but I think the scariest experience was getting to the Cracks of Doom then being trapped on the top of the mountain surrounded by lava and knowing we were going die. Poor Samwise. What a mess I got us into. Smeagol was no walk in the park, either. And, the slimey little bastard bit off my finger!
Q: How do you explain a small Hobbit overthrowing the Dark Lord and bringing down Mordor?
A: It helps to have a wizard on your team. He kept appearing and disappearing, but I knew that Gandalph had my back. Legolas the elf was a crack shot with his bow and Gimli the dwarf was unbeatable with his ax. And, of course Aragorn is an all-round fantastic warrior. Merry and Pippin were pretty useless except for organizing the Ents. And the eagles always seemed to show up in the nick of time.
Q: Any good experiences?
A: Sure. Rivendell was beautiful and the elves were entertaining. I got to see Bilbo again even though he and everyone else kept bitching about the Ring, the Ring, the Ring … jeez, give it a rest already!
Q: So, how do you feel about losing the ring?
A: That idiot Smeagol bit off the finger with my senior class ring … here’s the One Ring that Binds Them All. What? What’s the matter?
Q: But, didn’t the One Ring fall into the molten lava when Smeagol went over the cliff?
A: Don’t be a moron. That only happens in the movies.