In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Tagline.” Often, our blogs have taglines. But what if humans did, too? What would your tagline be?
If my life had a tagline it would be, “Caution – Wet Paint”, or perhaps, “Slippery When Wet”; maybe “Warning -Falling Rocks”, “Proceed at Your Own Risk” or “Keep Off the Grass”. Get the picture?
Nuff said.
Daily Prompt
Caution – Wet Paint
Eat Buttered Popcorn in the Dark and You Won’t Get Fat
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Show Must Go On.” If you were involved in a movie, would you rather be the director, the producer, or the lead performer? (Note: you can’t be the writer!).
I would never have the chutzpah to attempt to direct a film … Alfred Hitchcock, Charlie Chaplin, Stanley Kubrick, Woody Allen, Orson Welles … yes. Me? No. Forget about producing a movie. Think Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, David O. Selznick, Robert Redford and don’t forget Walt Disney. I wouldn’t even attempt it.
Acting. Naw, I’m too self-conscious and too introverted.
So, if I had to be involved in a movie and can’t be the writer I would choose to do what I do best … sit in the audience and eat buttered popcorn. In my world, buttered popcorn is the best part of filmdom. Add it to your diet and exercise regimen as an adjunct to a healthy lifestyle.
Sit in the first row of the second tier so you can put your feet up on the rail without disturbing anyone in front of you. Raise and lower your legs several times to get comfortable thereby working your lower back, thighs and hips. Do 6-8 repetitions. Lean back in your seat then slowly lean forward straightening your back to take a sip of your Sprite. You can do multiple sets of this exercise and may want to super-size your drink for maximum benefit.
Get to the show early enough to grab the perfect seat and buy a large buttered popcorn. These are refillable so if you’re a popcorn slut like me, you can eat almost a whole bucket of popcorn while watching the ads, previews, trailers, etc. (or reading your Kindle) and still have time to get a refill before the feature begins. Walking down the stairs and out to the concession stand should add another several hundred steps toward your daily goal of 10,000.
No one can see or judge you if you’re sitting in a dark theatre eating a second bucket of popcorn. Take several deep cleansing breaths and set your mind free. Remember – if you set your mind free, your ass will follow, so relax and enjoy.
When the movie is over and you’ve gorged yourself on buttered popcorn, you will want to skip dinner. There … you’ve saved yourself at least 700 calories.
Ergo, eat buttered popcorn in the dark and you won’t get fat!
Chocolate on My Elbows and Jelly Beans in My Teeth
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Food for the Soul (and the Stomach).” Tell us about your favorite meal, either to eat or to prepare. Does it just taste great, or does it have other associations?
It doesn’t matter what I am preparing in the kitchen, if I’m with one of my grandchildren the results are guaranteed to be memorable. Their innocence adds the right amount of spice, their laughter mixed with their enthusiasm provides the proper texture and their joy at the results encourages a hearty appetite … whether sweet or savory, edible or not, appealing or appalling, it is food for my soul.
This morning 6-year old Rebekah and I made chocolate bird nests for Easter candy as gifts for her family and her teachers (and two for herself). There was melted chocolate smeared on the counters, under our fingernails and on our elbows (don’t ask). Jellybeans were rolling around the floor as she traded me the black ones for the red ones that we tried to pitch into each others mouth. We laughed and giggled and didn’t even try the end result because it just didn’t matter. We wrapped them individually in plastic wrap and tied each one with a purple ribbon and hope that the recipients will enjoy eating them as much as we enjoyed making them.
Chocolate Bird Nests
12 oz. package chocolate chips
12 oz. package butterscotch chips
12 oz. package chow mein noodles
Carefully melt the chocolate and butterscotch chips in the microwave. Pour the melted chocolate mixture over the chow mein noodles in a large bowl and mix. Spray a muffin tin with cooking spray and glop a big spoonful of the mixture into each muffin hole. Smoosh the mixture to form a “nest” and refrigerate until set. Remove from the tins and add candy. We used jelly beans and robin eggs.
Linguine with Clam Sauce for World Peace
Daily Prompt – Time Capsule What would you put in this year’s time capsule to channel the essence of our current moment for future generations?
With the food channels, food blogs, Facebook and Pinterest recipes; gluten free, Paleo, South Beach, low fat, heart healthy, raw, green smoothies, sugarless; take your pick, there’s recipes for everyone on social media. They circumnavigate the globe in a (healthy) heartbeat! A good mac and cheese recipe can be enjoyed in Paducah, Kentucky or Mumbai, India. So, although I don’t normally blog about food unless it benefits the health and welfare of the general public (see Grandma Bernstein’s Chicken Soup), I have something I want to say.
If included in this year’s time capsule, my recipe for Linguine with Clam Sauce has the potential to promote peace and prosperity in the future. Warlike factions will be clamoring to get to the peace table if my clam sauce is being served. The aroma of garlic and onions simmering in butter speaks to a universal language of home, hearth and family. There can be no arguing or dissention with a mouth full of linguine covered with a rich, creamy, savory clam sauce. The culture of every country demands a certain etiquette when breaking bread. And, speaking of bread … this recipe should be served with fresh garlic bread (Cuban, French, Italian, naan, pita, who cares?) made with additional garlic, butter and romano/parmesan cheese.
There will be nothing left but goodwill and the slick memory of the clam sauce on the bottom of your serving bowl. Your guests at the peace table will throw down their butter stained napkins instead of the gauntlet and will join in singing your praises. Satiated and mellow from the fat, carbs and gluten, peace talks can continue over cups of espresso and a dessert tray.
Please spell my name correctly when you nominate me for the Nobel Peace Prize.
Linguine with Clam Sauce
3 tbsp. olive oil
3 tbsp. butter
1 small diced onion
4 cloves of garlic, minced
1 pinch red pepper flakes
1 tbsp. lemon juice
1 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. basil
1 tbsp. Old Bay Seasoning (I substituted Italian Seasoning)
3 cans minced clams with juice
1 tsp. parsley
1 lb. linguine (I used 1-1/2 pounds)
Supposed to serve six, but only served 4 in my family (they’d rather eat than fight)
Melt the butter & oil in large pan. Saute onion and garlic and add red pepper. Cook until translucent. Add lemon, oregano, basil and Old Bay Seasoning (or Italian Seasoning), stir and add clams and juice. Simmer for five minutes. The onions and garlic will become almost creamy.
Meanwhile, cook your linguine as usual. Drain but do not rinse keeping back about a cup of linguine water. Add the drained pasta to a serving bowl and add the clam sauce & mix well. Add some of the pasta water to help the sauce adhere to the pasta.
Here He Comes to Save the Day, Mighty Mouse is on the Way!
Daily Prompt – Me Time What’s your ideal Saturday morning? Are you doing those things this morning? Why not?
Mr. Trouble never hangs around, when he hears this mighty sound, “Here I come to save the day!” That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way!
What could be better than watching Mighty Mouse on Saturday morning and eating dry cereal out of the box? Tom and Jerry, Heckle and Jeckle, Chip and Dale, Betty Boop, Popeye, the Road Runner, Sky King and Roy Rogers. Those were happy days.
My dad worked out of town. He arrived home Friday night after our bedtime, so Saturday morning was quiet time until he awoke. Then there were hugs and kisses, playtime, pancakes and chocolate milk, and lots of surprises. My sister and I were little spoiled princesses because our mother was dead so we were given the world on the weekend when Daddy was home.
Saturday morning was the prelude to an entire day of pleasure; just Daddy, my sister and me. We formed our own magical Technicolor universe until Sunday night when he had to catch his plane and we were left alone again with our cold, demanding nanny for another black and white week.
When my children were small the cartoons changed but not the Saturday morning mood. We’d sit on the floor in front of the tv with pillows and blankets, making forts and playing with Barbies while watching Fraggle Rock, Huckleberry Hound, Josie and the Pussycats, and the Smurfs. Sometimes our neighbors and their kids would come over to watch cartoons with us. We’d laugh, talk, play and drink Bloody Marys and chocolate milk.
This morning I woke up and went for a walk then came home and did laundry, paid the bills, cleaned the kitchen, chemically treated the toilet and water tanks in the camper and changed the bed linens. “But aren’t you retired?” you ask.
Sure, but for the past six weeks I’ve been traveling and having entirely too much fun with my grandkids (is that possible?), watching cartoons and videos and having adventures, so I had to give up this Saturday morning to get my black and white world back on track.
Now I’ll be free for another month to watch cartoons, eat dry cereal and drink Bloody Marys during my Technicolor Saturday mornings.
My Hobbit Farewell
Daily Prompt – Last Words. You have the chance to write one last post on your blog before you stop blogging forever. Write it.
Farewell,” they cried, “Wherever you fare till your eyries receive you at the journey’s end!” That is the polite thing to say among eagles.
“May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks,” answered Gandalf, who knew the correct reply.” J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, Or, There and Back Again
Goodbye for now, friends. Find your eagle and soar!
Making a Quilt – Three Perfect Shots
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Three Perfect Shots. Take a subject you’re familiar with and imagine it as three photos in a sequence. Tackle the subject by describing those three shots.
How to make a quilt in three perfect shots … well, not exactly perfect shots. I used photos of three different quilts because each is in a different stage of development, but you’ll get the idea.
First you take several beautiful, very expensive, perfectly good, 100% cotton quilting fabrics and cut them into little pieces. Then you sew the pieces back together to form a pattern. This is your quilt top.
Take a large piece of fabric for the back of your quilt, place batting on top of the backing fabric and place your quilt top on the batting. This is your quilt “sandwich” that is now ready to quilt. Quilting can be done by hand (think quilting bees), by a regular domestic sewing machine or by a long-arm machine. I am fortunate to have a Gammill longarm machine. My Gammill is not electronic so, yes folks, I hand guide that large machine back and forth sewing a thread pattern into the quilt sandwich. This is what holds the three pieces of fabric together to form a quilt.
After quilting, sew on the binding around the edges to finish the quilt. There’s nothing like sleeping with a hand-made quilt … sweet dreams guaranteed.
My Plot of Earth
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “A Plot of Earth.” You’re given a plot of land and have the financial resources to do what you please. What’s the plan?
I received my forested plot of earth surrounding a large blue lake atop a ridge in the Allegheny Mountains. We gifted our four children with acreage on my mountaintop and built them each a small cottage near the lakeshore with outbuildings for their workshops. My son-in-law has an art studio and a dark room; my daughter a quilting studio. Her brother has an exercise studio with space for his bonsai and other passions and his wife received a sewing and design studio. Our other son-in-law’s workshop is used to design his outdoor line of products while our other son produces natural ginger beer and vinegars in his workshop. Guest quarters are located above each workshop and the cottages are designed for easy expansion.
We have cleared pathways between the cottages for our grandchildren. They can easily find their way to the communal building with the large country kitchen where there’s usually someone baking something. A vintage wooden table can seat 18 or can serve as a craft table for the kids. Our children are extremely competitive and enjoy cooking, and out-cooking each other, so we often enjoy wonderful meals together with lots of sarcasm, puns, sick jokes and occasionally arm-wrestling. A family room with a large fireplace, comfortable seating and a huge flat screen TV overlooks the play area with gaming tables and toys. A stock of my favorite books provides entertainment when the TV is turned off.
There’s a dock on the lake for fishing and boating. No motor boats; just kayaks, canoes and paddle boards. We built a campfire circle with lots of Adirondack chairs. Hammocks are strung between the trees and plenty of tire swings are available for the grandkids. A large shed holds our toys — sleds, skis, snowmobiles, snowshoes, rafts, badminton sets, volley and soccer balls, skates, hula hoops, tents, sleeping bags, fishing poles, life vests, paddles and oars.
The most fun part of this fantasy is the tree house we built in the large oak tree behind my cottage and the zip line that runs from the treehouse down to the lake. The shrieks and laughter gladden my heart, and that’s just from the adults. The grandkids aren’t old enough to use the zip line yet.
If I was given a plot of earth and unlimited resources I would create a Walton’s Mountain for my family. A place of security, serenity, safety and love; a place where my children and their children could support and protect each other. We would call it, Jodi’s Mountain … or we could call it heaven.
Good night John Boy.
Think Global, Act Local
In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Think Global, Act Local.”
I don’t quite understand it but hear that global warming is responsible for the bitter winters the U.S. has been experiencing. If true, perhaps residents of the frigid northern states will overrun Florida, purchasing every available property and my home will become immensely valuable. I could then sell it for a ridiculous sum of money and trade in my 17-foot Casita travel trailer for a large ostentatious RV and follow the sun wherever I wish. Or not.
















