Posts Tagged With: hairballs

The Slut and the Misogynist – A Conversation

Writing 101:  Daily Prompts & Twists. Today’s Prompt: Write a post based on the contrast between two things — whether people, objects, emotions, places, or something else.

“You disgust me.  You lie on his lap and rub your cheek against his chest and let him caress you just so you can get what you want.”

“What’s wrong with that?  I like to be loved and stroked.  I give him what he needs and he gives me what I want.”

“Well, he grabbed me by the back of my neck and threw me outside so I had to sleep on the patio last night.  I looked in the window and saw you pawing all over him while he fed you from his plate and stroked your body.”

I don’t know why you’ve got your whiskers in a twist.  I love to be loved and petted.  You’re just mean.  You puked on his bathmat and he stepped in it and  you used his shower as a litter box.  I don’t know what kind of statement you were trying to make but you’re not going to get home cooked chicken and salmon morsels with that attitude. You need to learn to be sweet if you want love and affection.”

“Who said anything about love and affection?  I want to be treated with respect.  I want to be fed on time, have a clean litterbox and I want to have my ears scratched when it pleases me.  I don’t want to lower myself to your standards, rubbing against his legs and purring.  I think when they removed your claws, they removed your brain … you’re such a slut.”

“Why don’t you shut up? Go choke on a hairball and leave me alone.”


Categories: Family, Humor, Life | Tags: , , , | 6 Comments

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