Posts Tagged With: writing 101

I Can’t Seem to Get the Sleeves Just Right

Writing 101 – Day Nine: Point of View  Today’s Prompt: A man and a woman walk through the park together, holding hands. They pass an old woman sitting on a bench. The old woman is knitting a small, red sweater. The man begins to cry. Write this scene.  Today’s twist: write the scene from three different points of view: from the perspective of the man, then the woman, and finally the old woman.

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“Well, hell’s bells,” thought the old lady as she ripped a row of red yarn from the small sweater she was knitting.  “I added the last ten rows to the wrong sleeve and now the sweater looks like it’s for a small deformed orangutan!”

The young man strolling by with his lady love looked at the old woman who was holding up and studying a ridiculously malformed red sweater.  He dropped his head and his shoulders began to shake.

“What’s wrong, darling?,” asked his concerned amore.

“Look at what that stupid old woman knitted.”  The tears were streaming down his face as he laughed.  “It looks like a red sweater for a small deformed orangutan!”

The indignant young lady exclaimed, “Don’t be so cruel. Are you going to laugh at me when I’m old and can’t do everything perfectly anymore?”

She dropped his hand and walked away.

“What an asshole,” she thought as she walked over to the park bench and sat down next to the old woman.

“Can you help me with this, dear?” asked the confused old lady.  “My daughter and her husband just adopted a baby orangutan and I can’t seem to get the sleeves just right.”

Categories: Humor, Life | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

The Slut and the Misogynist – A Conversation

Writing 101:  Daily Prompts & Twists. Today’s Prompt: Write a post based on the contrast between two things — whether people, objects, emotions, places, or something else.

“You disgust me.  You lie on his lap and rub your cheek against his chest and let him caress you just so you can get what you want.”

“What’s wrong with that?  I like to be loved and stroked.  I give him what he needs and he gives me what I want.”

“Well, he grabbed me by the back of my neck and threw me outside so I had to sleep on the patio last night.  I looked in the window and saw you pawing all over him while he fed you from his plate and stroked your body.”

I don’t know why you’ve got your whiskers in a twist.  I love to be loved and petted.  You’re just mean.  You puked on his bathmat and he stepped in it and  you used his shower as a litter box.  I don’t know what kind of statement you were trying to make but you’re not going to get home cooked chicken and salmon morsels with that attitude. You need to learn to be sweet if you want love and affection.”

“Who said anything about love and affection?  I want to be treated with respect.  I want to be fed on time, have a clean litterbox and I want to have my ears scratched when it pleases me.  I don’t want to lower myself to your standards, rubbing against his legs and purring.  I think when they removed your claws, they removed your brain … you’re such a slut.”

“Why don’t you shut up? Go choke on a hairball and leave me alone.”

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Categories: Family, Humor, Life | Tags: , , , | 6 Comments

Deer Mommy,

Writing 101 – Today’s Prompt: You stumble upon a random letter on the path.You read it. It affects you deeply, and you wish it could be returned to the person to which it’s addressed. Write a story about this encounter.

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Walking my son home from the bus stop I noticed a grubby sheet of paper on the sidewalk; a piece of lined school paper folded in quarters.

“Deer Mommy,” it began in a childish hand.  With all the misspellings of a youngster just learning to write it continued, “Don’t yell at Daddy.  You scared me. Please. I love you, Sara “.

Oh.  I know Sara from down the block.

I carefully re-folded the note, walked down to Sara’s house and slipped the note through the mail slot in her front door.

Categories: Family, Life | Tags: | 5 Comments

Lord, Give Me Patience … And a Lock for My Toolbox

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “If I Had a Hammer.” If you could learn a trade — say carpentry, electrical work, roofing, landscaping, plumbing, flooring, drywall — you name it — what skill(s) would you love to have in your back pocket?

I have a hammer – and a screwdriver and a once full and complete toolbox.  Over time my tools disappear as my husband “borrows” them and I later find a rusted pair of pliers out by the pool pump, or my phillip’s head screwdriver driven into a plank down on the dock.  Let’s not talk about my power tools.  I can seldom find the matching battery charger for the tool I want to use.  I haven’t seen my beautiful Dremel in years.  I found my vise grips serving as the hose bib.

So, the only thing I want in my back pocket is a lock for my toolbox and lots and lots of patience.

Maybe you thought I was kidding?

Maybe you thought I was kidding?

Categories: Daily Prompt, Family, Humor, Life | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

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