Posts Tagged With: laughter

Why Limit Happy to an Hour?

 

The epitome of a good day:

  • Woke up from a good night’s rest with no arthritis pain
  • Ate previous night’s leftovers for breakfast – no brainer Paleo meal
  • I was the first customer at Grease Monkey for an oil change, had coffee with the guys & they  gave me a new customer discount
  • Pool store clerk loaded 3 jugs of  chlorine in the car for me without me asking for help chlorine
  • Home Depot associate gave me a 2 x 3′ piece of plywood for free when I told him I was making a counter-top ironing board for my quilting projects
  • Washed my car in the driveway – it was overcast & almost cool. No heat exhaustion.  No streaks.
  • Rode my new bike to the library without accidents or incidents (just a sore ass)
  • Bought 2 beautiful, ripe mangos – my favorite fruit
  • Pulled weeds around the lanai without seeing worms, snakes or anything else startling or disgusting weeds
  • Dove down to pull a rogue plastic lid  covering the drain at the bottom of the pool and didn’t drown
  • Received calls from my kids
  • Finished my retro step stool project

    Before

    after

    After

  • Amazon delivered my new bicycle basket and I installed it in 3 minutes basket
  • Found enough fabric in my stash to make skirts for the work tables in my quilt studio so I can save my $ to buy more quilting fabric
  • Customer picked up her antique embroidered butterfly top that I custom quilted for her and raved about it
  • Found food in the refrigerator for dinner – no last minute run to the grocery store
  • Watched three episodes of “Nurse Jackie”
  • Listened to the laughter of the kids next door splashing in their grandparents’ pool
  • Fell asleep thinking about tomorrow’s fun

Daily Prompt: Epitome

Categories: Aging Gracefully, Daily Prompt, Humor, Life, Retirement, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

The Princess and the Pee

I recently introduced you to my sister, the Princess. However, I neglected to tell you about the laughing disorder specific to the females in our family.  Simply put, we laugh til we pee.  It’s uncontrollable, we can’t help it.  I believe it is psychological rather than physiological; a form of hysteria rather than bladder dysfunction and similar in nature to the snorting laugh syndrome that causes the liquid you’re drinking to spurt from your nose.

The Princess has the most severe symptoms of this genetic laughing disorder.  She laughs, cries and pees at the same time.  I have seen a room full of strangers gasping with laughter because hers is so contagious and outrageous; none of them knew why they were laughing.  Her daughter brings a change of clothes to family gatherings and my daughter runs around with her knees locked and her legs crossed when she starts laughing. Our nieces have the same symptoms and there appears to be little hope for our granddaughters.

pee1

upee2nnamed

We began her latest visit with vodka tonics on my dock peacefully watching the fish, turtles and birds.  The next morning I introduced her to my favorite exercise routine, a walk along the Peace River.  It was a leisurely walk because the Princess does not like to perspire.  When we passed the playground, I took a picture of her with the cow statue.  I have no idea why there is a statue of a cow in the playground next to the river.  A manatee I could understand.

The Princess is a beautiful woman and very particular about photos only allowing  posed shots.  Every photo must be above the waist  — the perfect angle (“Don’t show my butt!”), the perfect pose (“Don’t make me look fat!”), the perfect lighting (“Don’t make me look old!”), the perfect props (martini glass).  She and the cow looked great.

pee4She took a picture of me at the top of the children’s slide. Beyond reason I decided the fastest way back down was to slide.

The last time I went down this particular slide was on a hot afternoon with my granddaughter when I was so sweaty and sticky that my butt and thighs slowly stuttered down the slide.  However, this ride was on a dew-covered, slippery as goose shit, wet slide.  It happened so fast that I didn’t realize I was airborne until I made a five point (two heels, two hands and my ass), bone-jarring landing at least three feet past the end of the slide.  And, if that wasn’t ignominious enough … I bounced on the foamy, squishy artificial turf.

pee6

I was stunned from the impact and the Princess was stunned by the swiftness and absurdity of the situation.  “My camera wasn’t ready, can you do it again?”  We started laughing.  I’m talking fall down on the ground, rolling around holding our stomachs, can’t catch your breath howling. Two wet, broad beamed, mid-century girls screaming and hiccuping with laughter.  The Princess gasped, “Stop, I’m gonna wet my pants!” We hooted like loons.

When we were finally able to stand up, I asked the Princess if the back of my pants looked wet. “Looks like you peed your pants”, she said.  “I did”, I responded and we lost control.  Too bad our daughters, nieces and granddaughters weren’t with us because then we’d have had  enough panties and shorts to make up a full load of laundry.

It’s all fun and games until someone starts laughing.

pee5

Categories: Family, Humor, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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