Posts Tagged With: sisters

Sisters Camping Trip # 3 – Preparation


So, the Princess and I survived our first two camping adventures without hurting each other.  I always try mightily to back my Casita travel trailer into our camp site but I echo Blanche DuBois (A Streetcar Named Desire), “I have always depended on the kindness of strangers,” when I fail miserably.  My job is to sweat and cuss and try and try again to back the camper in the right direction.  Yes, I know you have to turn the wheel in the opposite direction from where you want the trailer to go. The Princess’ job is to stand around looking adorable with an an imploring look & pleading smile while nearby campers rush to volunteer to back the trailer in for us.  I guess it takes a village.  Whatever.


This time we’re heading to St. George Island State Park in the Florida panhandle.  We’ll camp on the beach and explore Apalachicola and other coastal towns.  We’ll eat lots of seafood — shrimp, oysters, mullet, etc.  It’s going to be cold (30’s-40’s at night) so walks on the beach may mean bundling up in several layers. Picture two female Pillsbury dough boys and pray we don’t trip.  “We’ve fallen and we can’t get up.”

I’ve prepared and frozen two meals, chili one night and chicken cacciatore for another night.  I plan to store them in the freezer compartment to help keep the refrigerator cold, then use my slow cooker to defrost and heat up our dinner when we’re ready.  I’m buying steaks & Idaho potatoes for our first night. Since we don’t have a very good track record with grilling on an outdoor fire, I’ll buy New York strips instead of rib eyes just in case our dreams go up in smoke (again).  The Princess is responsible for cocktails and appetizers for the trip and local restaurants and bars will fill in the gaps.weenie

I live in southwest Florida and the Princess lives in central Florida so we coordinate our departure times and meet at the confluence of I-75 and the Florida Turnpike in Wildwood.   Her husband transfers her luggage (matching pieces of course) to my car and off we go.

I’ll let you know when we get there.





Categories: Aging Gracefully, Camping, Family, Humor, Life, Retirement, Travel, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Princess and the Pee

I recently introduced you to my sister, the Princess. However, I neglected to tell you about the laughing disorder specific to the females in our family.  Simply put, we laugh til we pee.  It’s uncontrollable, we can’t help it.  I believe it is psychological rather than physiological; a form of hysteria rather than bladder dysfunction and similar in nature to the snorting laugh syndrome that causes the liquid you’re drinking to spurt from your nose.

The Princess has the most severe symptoms of this genetic laughing disorder.  She laughs, cries and pees at the same time.  I have seen a room full of strangers gasping with laughter because hers is so contagious and outrageous; none of them knew why they were laughing.  Her daughter brings a change of clothes to family gatherings and my daughter runs around with her knees locked and her legs crossed when she starts laughing. Our nieces have the same symptoms and there appears to be little hope for our granddaughters.



We began her latest visit with vodka tonics on my dock peacefully watching the fish, turtles and birds.  The next morning I introduced her to my favorite exercise routine, a walk along the Peace River.  It was a leisurely walk because the Princess does not like to perspire.  When we passed the playground, I took a picture of her with the cow statue.  I have no idea why there is a statue of a cow in the playground next to the river.  A manatee I could understand.

The Princess is a beautiful woman and very particular about photos only allowing  posed shots.  Every photo must be above the waist  — the perfect angle (“Don’t show my butt!”), the perfect pose (“Don’t make me look fat!”), the perfect lighting (“Don’t make me look old!”), the perfect props (martini glass).  She and the cow looked great.

pee4She took a picture of me at the top of the children’s slide. Beyond reason I decided the fastest way back down was to slide.

The last time I went down this particular slide was on a hot afternoon with my granddaughter when I was so sweaty and sticky that my butt and thighs slowly stuttered down the slide.  However, this ride was on a dew-covered, slippery as goose shit, wet slide.  It happened so fast that I didn’t realize I was airborne until I made a five point (two heels, two hands and my ass), bone-jarring landing at least three feet past the end of the slide.  And, if that wasn’t ignominious enough … I bounced on the foamy, squishy artificial turf.


I was stunned from the impact and the Princess was stunned by the swiftness and absurdity of the situation.  “My camera wasn’t ready, can you do it again?”  We started laughing.  I’m talking fall down on the ground, rolling around holding our stomachs, can’t catch your breath howling. Two wet, broad beamed, mid-century girls screaming and hiccuping with laughter.  The Princess gasped, “Stop, I’m gonna wet my pants!” We hooted like loons.

When we were finally able to stand up, I asked the Princess if the back of my pants looked wet. “Looks like you peed your pants”, she said.  “I did”, I responded and we lost control.  Too bad our daughters, nieces and granddaughters weren’t with us because then we’d have had  enough panties and shorts to make up a full load of laundry.

It’s all fun and games until someone starts laughing.


Categories: Family, Humor, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Sisters Camping Trip … Get Ready!

My sister has never been camping.  She’s somewhat of a princess.  Just kidding … she IS a princess.  She puts on makeup and fixes her hair to take the garbage out.  Just kidding … she NEVER takes the garbage out.  That’s what husbands are for.

She’s beautiful, I’m a tomboy.  She has an outfit for every occasion; I borrow her clothes.  She enjoys shopping, I borrow her clothes.  She has beautiful jewelry to match every outfit; I borrow her jewelry to match my borrowed clothes.  She is a fantastic cook and hostess and loves to entertain; I love to attend her parties.  She vacations at beautiful condos and cute cabins in the mountains; I go camping with my travel trailer and get stuck on the top of mountains.  She is funny and effervescent; I am, ummm – droll?

10492002_10202337261581396_4174609948372119634_nWe are opposites in so many ways but adore each other and have fun adventures (although we did almost kill each other in Costa Rica a few years ago).  She’s an “un-packer”; I’m a “throw your suitcase on the bed and let’s go” traveler.  We had great adventures on our road trip last October but this camping trip could be a game changer.  Setting up a campsite can be hard physical work, not to mention having to back the camper into the site.  I told her I absolutely forbid flip-flops with wedge heels at the campsite.  I don’t care if she did just get a pedicure and a new toe ring.  I warned her that camping means a minimum amount of outfit changes, little or no makeup and flat shoes or sneakers.  She thinks I’m bossy.

I explained to her that the most important thing when camping is to pack light and consolidate your belongings.  So, we agreed that to save space we will forego her bottles of rum and coke and my bottles of red wine.  We figure one large bottle of vodka, a couple of bottles of diet tonic water and a half dozen fresh limes should do it.  See how nicely we play together when we compromise?

Tomorrow I’m loading up my Casita and Saturday will drive 150 miles to Orlando to pick up the Princess, then we’ll leave for three days of camping on a beach on the east coast of Florida.

Pray for us.



Categories: Camping, Family, Humor, Travel, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

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