Author Archives: queenbookworm

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About queenbookworm

I am a mature female adventure junkie often traveling solo. I want to encourage other women to fulfill their dreams even if they have to step out of their comfort zones and go it alone. Do not wait for someone else to make your dreams come true - ever day is an adventure.

The Slut and the Misogynist – A Conversation

Writing 101:  Daily Prompts & Twists. Today’s Prompt: Write a post based on the contrast between two things — whether people, objects, emotions, places, or something else.

“You disgust me.  You lie on his lap and rub your cheek against his chest and let him caress you just so you can get what you want.”

“What’s wrong with that?  I like to be loved and stroked.  I give him what he needs and he gives me what I want.”

“Well, he grabbed me by the back of my neck and threw me outside so I had to sleep on the patio last night.  I looked in the window and saw you pawing all over him while he fed you from his plate and stroked your body.”

I don’t know why you’ve got your whiskers in a twist.  I love to be loved and petted.  You’re just mean.  You puked on his bathmat and he stepped in it and  you used his shower as a litter box.  I don’t know what kind of statement you were trying to make but you’re not going to get home cooked chicken and salmon morsels with that attitude. You need to learn to be sweet if you want love and affection.”

“Who said anything about love and affection?  I want to be treated with respect.  I want to be fed on time, have a clean litterbox and I want to have my ears scratched when it pleases me.  I don’t want to lower myself to your standards, rubbing against his legs and purring.  I think when they removed your claws, they removed your brain … you’re such a slut.”

“Why don’t you shut up? Go choke on a hairball and leave me alone.”

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Categories: Family, Humor, Life | Tags: , , , | 6 Comments

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Mad as a Hatter.” Tell us about a time when you flew into a rage. What is it that made you so incredibly angry?

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There is absolutely nothing more infuriating than a 16-year old son.  I have no idea what finally flipped me over the edge.  I remember yelling, “That’s it, you’re dead!” and taking off after him through the dining room, across the living room, and finally backing him into a corner in the laundry room.  He was laughing while I was furious.

I advanced slapping any portion of his unprotected anatomy I could reach. He was about six inches taller than I.

“You will not talk back to me.” (slap on his shoulder)

“You will not make fun of me.” (slap on his chest)

“You will not laugh at me.” (slap on his other shoulder)

“You will show me respect.” (slap on his hip)

“You will pay attention when I’m talking to you” (slap on his stomach)

“You will speak to me in a civil tone.” (push with both hands on his chest)

That last one got him.  He grabbed my wrists and collapsed against the wall laughing.  “A civil tone?  A civil tone?  You’ve been reading historical novels, haven’t you?”

What’s a mother to do?  I began laughing so he apologized, we kissed and made up.

But that tirade twenty years ago did the trick.  He phones me almost every day to ask, in a civil tone, what I’m doing and if I’m OK. And, we always find something to laugh about.

Someone raised him right.

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Categories: Daily Prompt, Family, Humor, Life | Tags: , | 4 Comments

The Only Thing Missing Is …

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Afloat.”

       The first day the pool is warm enough to enjoy.  Wish you were here.

The first day the pool is warm enough to enjoy. Wish you were here.

Categories: Life, Retirement | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

Mandala/Schmandala – Just Don’t Walk Into the Glass Door

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When you can’t find a suncatcher to mount on your squeeky clean sliding glass doors to protect your family from walking into the newly polished glass, borrow your grandkids’ washable markers and draw a mandala – kind of.

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I’m going to have to clean the glass again aren’t I?

Categories: Family, Humor, Uncategorized | Tags: , | 2 Comments

A Rare and Perfect Day of Honor and Reflection

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “All It’s Cracked Up to Be.” Tell us about a time when everything actually turned out exactly as you’d hoped.

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I was slightly anxious to be driving alone through a strange city,hauling my tiny camper, watching for road signs and listening to Siri’s annoying GPS voice directing me to the Chickamauga Battlefield.  Anxious because the previous day I got stuck on the top of Lookout Mountain and was rescued by angels – but I’ve already told that story.

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The morning was perfect; no clouds, in the low 70’s, sunny and bright.  I drove through Chattanooga without mishap arriving safely at the Chickamauga Battlefield and Chattanooga National Military Park. I pulled into a perfect parking space for the camper (meaning I didn’t have to back out) and had wonderful ingress and egress to parking throughout my tour.

I entered the museum as the award winning film depicting the battles on Lookout Mountain and Missionary Ridge began.  “The Campaign for Chattanooga: Death Knell of the Confederacy” is a haunting film of the men from rural farms and small towns who fought and died at the Battle of Chickamauga. Their dashed hopes and broken dreams as the Civil War raged is profoundly sad and thought provoking.

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General Rosecrans commanded the Union Army of the Cumberland and General Bragg commanded the Confederate Army of Tennessee

I was given a map to the Chickamauga Battlefield that features a 7 mile self-guided auto tour, monuments, historical tablets, hiking trails and horse trails. As I drove from site to site I was struck by the number of people touring the battlefield; young people on motorcycles, retirees, the aged with walkers, and families with children. 300B8D1A-1DD8-B71C-07163CE398CD7C8D-largeI was touched by the beauty of the site and the interest and respect shown by the visitors.

The battlegrounds and roads have been maintained in their original state even to the placement of the cannon and surviving structures. Only brush removal is allowed. As I enjoyed the perfect weather and the beautifully maintained historic park, I reflected on how time can erase the physical scars to the landscape but we must maintain the memory of the battles. It is easy to forget that the Revolutionary War forming the United States had been fought only 87 years before.

A short 152 years ago, over a two day period in September 1863, this beautiful park saw 16,000 Union and 18,000 Confederate casualties, making Chickamauga the second bloodiest battle of the war after Gettysburg.  That’s 34,000 soldiers wounded or killed in two days.  Keep in mind that these battles were fought face-to-face, hand-to-hand with soldiers seeing and sometimes recognizing the faces of their adversaries.

I am grateful for the hours I spent honoring all the Civil War heroes who fought in this corner of Tennessee.  The day was everything I hoped for.

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Categories: Daily Prompt, Life, Retirement, Travel | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

My Knuckles are Dragging From This Long-Arm Quilting Project

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This is the largest quilt top I’ve ever loaded onto my Gammill long arm quilting machine.  My machine is self-guided, not electronic, which means that I guide the machine and walk it along the 14′ table as it’s stitching, using a laser to follow the pattern.

Largest Quilt

My customer worked on piecing this 10′ x 10′ quilt top for almost two years and then chose one of my more complicated patterns for the quilting. I’ll post a picture of the finished quilt in a few days.

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A history of carpal tunnel in both wrists and rotator cuff surgery has slowed me down a bit, but this puppy is gonna be done by next week ’cause I’m heading to Atlanta then a road trip to my cottage in Michigan for some R & R!

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Categories: Quilting | Tags: , , | 3 Comments

It Really Hurt When He Bit My Finger Off

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Interview.”  Interview your favorite fictional character.

Frodo.sting

Q:  Welcome home, Frodo, you’ve had quite an adventure.  How does it feel to be safely back in the Shire?

A:  Hold on a sec while I take a hydrocodone for my finger and I’ll be right with you.  Yeah, it’s great to be back but I really need a vacation.  Overcoming Lord Sauron and saving the world really drained me. Sam and I are thinking of taking a long weekend somewhere warm and sunny.  We’re checking with Legolos and Gimli to see when they’re free; maybe in the spring after Boromir’s and Aragorn’s weddings.

Q:  You met all sorts of monsters and overcame some pretty insurmountable odds.  What was the most frightening thing you encountered?

A:  Well, the Orcs were ferocious and smelled something awful, but I think the scariest experience was getting to the Cracks of Doom then being trapped on the top of the mountain surrounded by lava and knowing we were going die.  Poor Samwise. What a mess I got us into.  Smeagol was no walk in the park, either. And, the slimey little bastard bit off my finger!Smeagol

Q:  How do you explain a small Hobbit overthrowing the Dark Lord and bringing down Mordor?

A:  It helps to have a wizard on your team.  He kept appearing and disappearing, but I knew that Gandalph had my back. Legolas the elf was a crack shot with his bow and Gimli the dwarf was unbeatable with his ax. And, of course Aragorn is an all-round fantastic warrior. Merry and Pippin were pretty useless except for organizing the Ents. And the eagles always seemed to show up in the nick of time.  

Q:  Any good experiences?

A:  Sure.  Rivendell was  beautiful and the elves were entertaining. I got to see Bilbo again even though he and everyone else kept bitching about the Ring, the Ring, the Ring … jeez, give it a rest already!

Q:  So, how do you feel about losing the ring?

A:  That idiot Smeagol bit off the finger with my senior class ring … here’s the One Ring that Binds Them All.  What?  What’s the matter?

Q:  But, didn’t the One Ring fall into the molten lava when Smeagol went over the cliff?

A:  Don’t be a moron.  That only happens in the movies.

Categories: Daily Prompt, Humor | Tags: , , , , , | 3 Comments

Deer Mommy,

Writing 101 – Today’s Prompt: You stumble upon a random letter on the path.You read it. It affects you deeply, and you wish it could be returned to the person to which it’s addressed. Write a story about this encounter.

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Walking my son home from the bus stop I noticed a grubby sheet of paper on the sidewalk; a piece of lined school paper folded in quarters.

“Deer Mommy,” it began in a childish hand.  With all the misspellings of a youngster just learning to write it continued, “Don’t yell at Daddy.  You scared me. Please. I love you, Sara “.

Oh.  I know Sara from down the block.

I carefully re-folded the note, walked down to Sara’s house and slipped the note through the mail slot in her front door.

Categories: Family, Life | Tags: | 5 Comments

Lord, Give Me Patience … And a Lock for My Toolbox

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “If I Had a Hammer.” If you could learn a trade — say carpentry, electrical work, roofing, landscaping, plumbing, flooring, drywall — you name it — what skill(s) would you love to have in your back pocket?

I have a hammer – and a screwdriver and a once full and complete toolbox.  Over time my tools disappear as my husband “borrows” them and I later find a rusted pair of pliers out by the pool pump, or my phillip’s head screwdriver driven into a plank down on the dock.  Let’s not talk about my power tools.  I can seldom find the matching battery charger for the tool I want to use.  I haven’t seen my beautiful Dremel in years.  I found my vise grips serving as the hose bib.

So, the only thing I want in my back pocket is a lock for my toolbox and lots and lots of patience.

Maybe you thought I was kidding?

Maybe you thought I was kidding?

Categories: Daily Prompt, Family, Humor, Life | Tags: , , , , | 5 Comments

Don’t Worry … It Was Only a Little Tumble Down the Basement Stairs

I'm the one on the right!

I’m the one on the right!

When I grow up I want to be Marilyn.  No silly, not Marilyn Monroe … my 88 year old cousin Marilyn.

I am staggered by her tragedies and heartache; the loss of three children and her husband of  60 years who she adored from the age of 14.  How many women not only survive such losses but continue life with grace and love and beauty?

I admire her stamina and attitude, her zest for life, and her personality. She is smart, clever, funny, interested and interesting. Her angels, ghosts and demons are reserved for her solitary nights; crocheting, listening to her audio books, Michael Buble, or watching the Food Channel until she can sleep.

She has crocheted hundreds of  small afghans for the terminally ill children at Give Kids the World.  Did I mention she is legally blind?  Macular degeneration stole her sight slowly so she was able to learn to use her peripheral vision to “see”.  She puts on her makeup, takes senior transportation to have her hair and nails done, goes to the liquor store and grocery shops by herself if necessary.  She is greeted with smiles and loving kindness everywhere.  She acquires new friends wherever she travels making lady-like, smart-ass comments and telling slightly suggestive jokes.  She’s a clown and a flirt who loves to make people laugh.

So, when we got the call that she was hospitalized with a broken pelvis we were in a panic.  My sister and I have attempted to take care of her long distance since her husband died.  Marilyn was visiting her daughter out of state when she decided to do the laundry in the basement and fell down the stairs. She was  83.

After a short hospital stay, she was transferred to a rehab center where she enjoyed herself tremendously.  She joked round the clock with the nurses, the aides, the therapists and she enjoyed the social activities.  She was determined not to become an old lady with a walker.  When she was released from rehab, she stayed with her daughter for a short while before deciding that she wanted to go home to her own apartment.  She arranged with Delta for wheelchair service and flew home by herself.  She and her friends then went to work setting up everything she needed for her home recovery.

We phoned every day and she would say, “Don’t worry.  It was only a little tumble down the basement stairs.” And, then she’d laugh, “What’s a broken pelvis among friends?”

marilyn1Last week was her 88th birthday.  My sister and I visited to arrange a gala celebration.  She went to the Hard Rock Casino for a little gambling, we took her to her favorite restaurant where she wanted to sit at the bar to drink wine and eat a rib eye steak; we shopped and cooked and had a small dinner party for her with balloons and gifts, linguine with clam sauce and a birthday cheesecake.  We enjoyed a two mile walk , sans walker, with her each morning and had trouble keeping up with her pace.

marilyn3Leaving, we got plenty of hugs and kisses and thank yous for making her feel so special.  She joked that she can’t wait to see what we are going to do for her 90th birthday to top this one.

Zip-lining? Any other suggestions?

 

Categories: Family, Health, Humor, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

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