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Stumbling, Bumbling & Feeding the Cat

Daily Prompt – Just Another Day:  Our days our organized around numerous small actions we repeat over and over. What’s your favorite daily ritual?

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Dusty is a 20-year old calico cat.  She’s mean, obnoxious and her meowing sounds like the screams of an old lady in pain.  I’m scared to death of her.  She’s blind, can’t hear very well and is crippled with arthritis.  She loves me.  I can only feed her small amounts at a time or she vomits.  When I hear those retching sounds I run to carry her outside but seldom make it in time.  Then it’s my turn to retch.

Dusty and I have a morning ritual that I have come to enjoy.  She wakes me with an old lady scream between 4:30 – 5:30 a.m.  I stumble into the kitchen and prepare her plate of food that I set out on the lanai where her litter box is kept.  This accomplishes three things – she eats, she poops and I can check the weather.

I then bumble around making coffee and cleaning up the kitchen until she comes back inside and limps down the hallway to stand next to my bed.  I arrange her quilt on top of my bedding and gingerly (she is not de-clawed and I have the scars to prove it) pick her up by the scruff of her neck and place her on her very own hand-made quilt.  Until a few months ago I have never allowed an animal in my bed.  (Well … I mean … you know).  She settles down for a little nap because she’s only had 14 hours of sleep.

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I plump up my pillows, carefully crawl in bed next to Dusty with my coffee, my iPhone and my computer and we settle down for an hour or so of pleasant social media mindlessness.  But, God forbid I move. There’s that old lady scream again — mine.

Categories: Daily Prompt, Family, Life, Retirement, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 2 Comments

My All American Hero Says …

Daily Post:  Quote Me.  Do you have a favorite quote that you return to again and again? What is it, and why does it move you?

“Now you know and knowing is half the battle.”

I have quoted G.I. Joe to my children (ad nauseum), my grandchildren, my husband, my employees and anyone else who says, “I didn’t know that”.  You didn’t know that I can be obnoxious?  Well, now you know and knowing is half the battle.

Categories: Daily Prompt, Humor, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Where Do I Find the Time to Blog?

DAILY POST:  Life After Blogs ...Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

Without a computer I would have even more time for/to:

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Family

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Read

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Pay bills

 

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Chill in the pool

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Visit our cottage in the northern woods

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Quilt on my longarm machine

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Explore

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Cook

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Sew

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Travel

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Eat

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Kayak

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Hike

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Explore

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Encourage my grandchildren to be silly

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Participate in raising funds for breast cancer research

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Categories: Aging Gracefully, Daily Prompt, Family, Humor, Kayaking, Life, Retirement, Travel, Uncategorized | Tags: | 2 Comments

When Life Gives You Lemons Throw Them at an Alligator

Daily Post:  Not Lemonade – When life gives you lemons… make something else. Tell us about a time you used an object or resolved a tricky situation in an unorthodox way.

 

If you’re going to throw life’s lemons at an alligator it helps if you live in southwest Florida and have citrus trees in your backyard overlooking a canal or other body of water.

 

Life has recently handed me a bushel of lemons and I have been feeling angry, hurt, frustrated and all those other awful negatives.  I was in my backyard miserably picking up the fallen lemons and oranges that were beginning to rot on the lawn.  In a fit of pique, I threw a lemon at the trunk of a large pine tree on the bank of the canal.  It felt so good when it splatted that I hurled several more that either satisfactorily splattered or missed completely and splashed in the canal.

 

When one particularly hefty lemon hit the water, I heard screams of delight from my granddaughter who was down on the dock feeding bread to the turtles and ducks. “Grammy, that lemon almost hit the head of the alligator!”  Alligator?  Holy crap!  I ran down to the dock and found a 3-foot baby alligator in among the turtles probably wondering why everyone else in the water was getting so excited about the frozen, stale hotdog buns and garlic bread Rebekah was throwing to them.

 

After showing her how to make spitbablls from the bread, I took my granddaughter back up the bank and gave her a pile of lemons to try to throw at the trunks of the trees.  Then we tried throwing them into the water between the trees.  While pitching the fruit I explained one of  life’s lessons —  that sometimes when you’re really angry or frustrated and want to throw things, it’s best to throw things that won’t break or hurt anyone else.  Things that splat or splash are good,  especially if you’re cleaning up the backyard at the same time.

 

“Can I throw some lemons at the alligator?”  Knowing that it was highly unlikely that she would hit it and suddenly feeling much better and happier, we gathered a bunch of half-rotten lemons and went back down to the dock.  Sure enough, there was the baby alligator about 10 feet from the dock just floating and minding its own business.  Bekah let fly and the splash startled the alligator.  With a look of contempt, it headed to the opposite shore.  We laughed and threw the rest of the fruit at floating leaves and twigs.

 

Rebekah asked me where the mama alligator lived.  Oh yeah.  Beating a hasty retreat up the bank I figured we’d wait for life to hand me coconuts before tackling mama alligator.

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Categories: Aging Gracefully, Daily Prompt, Family, Humor, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

I’d Rather Face a Snake than Step on a Worm

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Fright Night.”What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

I once stepped on a worm in my bare feet.  It squished and I yelled and shivered and shook and jumped around on one foot afraid to look at the bottom of my foot or the sidewalk.  I’ve gone back indoors rather than step on worms in my path after a rain brings them creeping, crawling, slithering out of the ground.  I gagged when I was a kid and found out that people put a fishhook through their slimey little bodies and didn’t wrap them around the hook like in the cartoons. No, even as a child I wasn’t quite stupid enough to believe that the worms did the shimmy on the hook to attract the fish.

Can you imagine my horror when I discovered worm farms?  Or, when I saw a picture of a ball of worms mating?  Just typing that made my skin crawl. I almost gave up gardening when I dug a hole to plant a flower and saw a half of a worm wiggling on my spade.

So, what would it take to make me walk down a sidewalk covered with worms?  Well, my children would have to be in mortal danger with the worm walk demanded as their ransom.  I would have to be wearing a pair of Doc Marten boots with my eyes covered being led by the arms down the sidewalk.  I’d probably also need an iPod playing at top volume to distract me and avoid any squishy noises.  I would need to go through a decontamination chamber with someone removing and disposing of my boots before removing my blindfold.

And if my demands for the worm walk were not met?

Sorry, kids.

p.s.  I couldn’t insert any images … I just couldn’t.

 

Categories: Daily Prompt, Family, Humor, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , | 3 Comments

The Patron Saint of Chaos

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “A True Saint.”  In 300 years, if you were to be named the patron saint of X, what would you like X to be? Places, activities, objects — all are fair game.

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St. Jodi was canonized on the 300th anniversay of her first miracle.  The miracle occurred on the day her husband left a trail of breadcrumbs to lead a wild Muscovy duck through the back sliding glass door of her home, marching through the dining and family rooms leaving a trail of guano (the duck, not her husband) and followed by three pre-teens shrieking in delight. The miracle occurred when St. Jodi was able to avoid having a stroke or murdering the duck, her husband and the hysterical children.

The second miracle took place on an overlook in the Blue Ridge Mountains when St. Jodi pulled the car she was driving onto an overlook and avoided hurling her son and husband from the peak.  They had been telling jokes about yaks and making fun of her driving for 100 miles. At the moment that she lost control and contemplated murder she had a vision … a cold, frosty martini served by a repentent and adoring husband.  A miraculous amount of self control and prayer enabled her  to deliver her family safely to their destination.  yak

Many miracles performed by St. Jodi have been reported by family and friends but could not be substantiated since friends and family members were reluctant to provide their real names.  Reports of miracles signed by Popeye, Betty Boop and Captain America were not accepted by church officials although the stories told were about a woman of miraculous self-control, love and good humor.

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Officials were able to substantiate the first two miraculous episodes through submission of video proof.  Experienced audio technicians were used to eliminate the screaming and laughter on the video.

St. Jodi is honored during the week after Labor Day when children typically return to school.  To request blessings from her, place a bottle of Chivas or a nice Cabernet on her doorstep.  Go in peace.

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Categories: Daily Prompt, Family, Humor, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Who is Oscar Scherer and Why Is There a State Park Named After Him?

Because it’s one of our favorite camping sites and just 30 miles from home and since we’ve spent some fun camping trips there and I’ve often wondered who Oscar Scherer was, I finally googled (that’s a verb?) “Oscar Scherer”:

In 1955, Elsa Scherer Burrows bequeathed 462 acres of land to the state of Florida for use as a park. The land was donated in memory of her father, Oscar Scherer, an inventor who developed a process for dyeing leather for shoes in 1872.

After a year of preparation, Oscar Scherer State Recreation Area was opened to the public in 1956. In 1991, an additional 922 acres were purchased as part of the P2000 initiative. This increased the parks total acreage to 1384 acres.

It appears that Elsa and Pinnochio had a lot in common, famous fathers involved in shoes.  Now we know and “knowing is half the battle” according to GI Joe.

Oscar Scherer State Park is where I often go when I need to run away from home for a couple of days.  I particularly love this park because the campsites feel private and wild although you are only 20-30 feet from your neighbors and have access to water and electric and the showers & restrooms are clean –   which is about as wild as I want to get.

My last escape from reality I was joined by my husband and we had a good time although things do tend to get a little bizarre when you have two 60-somethings escaping reality together:

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Bobcat on the Red Trail

Bobcat on the Red Trail

 

 

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Eagle nest

Eagle nest

 

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Would you go swimming?

Would you go swimming?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Delightful camping site

Delightful camping site

 

 

No, I didn't hit him ... clunked himself on the trunk's hood!

No, I didn’t hit him … clunked himself on the trunk’s hood! But that’s what first aid kits are for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Camping, Family, Humor, Kayaking, Life, Retirement, Travel, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | 3 Comments

Because I Love Them

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Lucky Star.” Today is your lucky day. You get three wishes, granted to you by The Daily Post. What are your three wishes and why?

Wish #1:  I wish that my four children and their children (and generations forever after) live healthy, prosperous, joyful lives in a safe and peaceful world.  Because I love them with all my heart.

Wish #2:  I wish that my sister and brother and their children (and generations forever after) live healthy, prosperous, joyful lives in a safe and peaceful world.  Because I love them.

Wish #3:  I wish that my husband and I may live many more healthy and joyous years to enjoy all the blessings of our family in a safe and peaceful world.  Because I love him.

I’m easy to please.

Categories: Uncategorized | Leave a comment

This is My Life

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Clean Slate.”   

Explore the room you’re in as if you’re seeing it for the first time. Pretend you know nothing. What do you see? Who is the person who lives there?

Family bookkeeper, family correspondent & archivist, blogger, eBay store owner

Family bookkeeper, correspondent & archivist, blogger, eBay store owner

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Sentamentalist & very amateur photographer – a favorite place near our cottage on Lake Huron

Avid reader

Avid reader

With eclectic interests

With eclectic interests

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Whimsical

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Loves necklaces of all kinds

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Family archivist  and more whimsy

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Family cottage on Lake Huron

 

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Family and Lladro statue representing first child

Thrifty

Thrifty

Sentamentalist - Crazy kids 22 years ago

Sentamentalist – Crazy kids 22 years ago

Sentamentalist - kids pre-grandchildren

Sentamentalist – kids pre-grandchildren

 

Categories: Daily Prompt, Family, Life, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 1 Comment

Forbidden Fruit or the Eighth Deadly Sin

My husband is very protective of his Pilot G-2 pens.  He has taught the family that his pens are forbidden fruit and it is a sin to use a pen without replacing it. This was his recent reminder to me when he found one of his pens on my desk:

Forbidden fruit!

Forbidden fruit!

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

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