My Favorite Profundities

Daily Post:  “Profound”

• Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.

• If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Then go out and find the person whose life gave them vodka.

• We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

• Having a baby can be a scream.

• If your children write their names in the dust on your furniture, don’t let them put the year.

• The most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant.

• If your husband wants to lick the beaters on the mixer, shut them off before you give them to him

• If two people want to get married, get married! As long as it doesn’t scare the horses, do what you want.

• Never floss with a stranger.

• If you laugh at it, you can deal with it.